I Heart Survivor: Redemption Island Week #10

Last we left our Survivors, The Bossiah upheld a strategic divide between the two former tribes, Military Mike and Defense Dave were sent packing into the arms of Pantene Matt at Redemption Island, and Lose Lips Phillip turned into a bird man.

Over at Redemption Island, Pantene Matt is bending God's ear telling him he wants out.

And to this I say...

I mean really?? God hates liars, Matt. And have you forgotten, he knows all. Your ego may be hiding the truth from you but not God. He says he'll stay in and do his best cause his dad wouldn't quit, his brother wouldn't quit, and Jesus wouldn't quit. I'm guessing non of those three would sit around a cry as much as you do either Matt so I need you to friggin PIPE IT!! For the love.

His hair is really blown when Defense Dave arrives. The three of them discuss what they think is going to happen. Is this the final duel with the three of them? And Pantene Matt actually asks a somewhat interesting question. Can you have a duel with three people? All of his hair falls out as he tries to figure this one out.

At Murlonio, Gimpy Steve, Firefighter Julie, and Oompa Loompa Ralph sit feeding their faces thanking their lucky stars Defense Dave got the boot instead of them recounting the events from the previous night's Tribal Council where Phillip was in typical form.

They all feel the heat of the Ohmyteepee force. Steve can't figure out what Phillip's game or standing is for that matter. He's bugging the crap out of the Zapatarans, but the Ohmyteepees don't seem to be bothered by his shenanigans.

Little does he know what he put them all through before the Zapaterans arrived to get kicked around.

Phillip rambles on again about Buddhism and meditation and premonitions. Apparently, he had another vision from his Grandfather who he now understands to be a correlation to Rob. I can kinda see the resemblance.

While they may not have the numbers, the Zapatarans have plenty of rice. They sit around feasting on their spoils while Phillip watches. He's non too pleased and thinks the rice belongs to all of them. He sneaks into their bag and steals a couple cups.

I see some major trouble coming down the pike here. Hard to make an argument that the rice belongs to everyone when The Bossiah has created such a great divide between them.

It's time for the duel! It consists of building a tower of tiles. First two to make it past the designated point get to stay. Loser goes home for good. Boring. When Jeff asks about the back-to-back blindsides, Pantene Matt makes some lame ass comment that his never been hurt so bad by strangers. Ah poor baby, it's hard being pretty isn't it? Let me guess; you were ALWAYS picked first.

The duel or thruel whatever the hell it is, is actually a bit tense. Military Mike jumps ahead to the lead but struggles to get the one tile to stand that will put him to the mark. His tower sways and looks like it could tumble. Matt and Dave stay steady and catch up. Mike finally gets the final tile up shortly followed by Pantene Matt.

Defense Dave is out...for good this time but he will return as the first member of the jury.

Meanwhile, The Bossiah is a little nervous that Matt is still in the game. Matt on the other hand has renewed energy and will continue his quest to take out Rob...if it's the Lord's will of course.

Back at camp, The Bossiah and BC Grant are singing the "Rice War" song in reference to Phillip's newest bur in his fur. Or pink panties as it may be. On-drea discovers maggots have invested their rice.

She and Phillip pour all their rice out on a blanket and separate the bad from the good. She asks Gimpy Steve and Firefighter Julie if they can put their good rice in the Zapatera rice can. Steve of course isn't keen on the idea and says they need to discuss it with Ralph.

But Phillip just isn't having this answer. He can't fathom how selfish some people are in the game which is baffling to hear. Again this is all a ramification of the lines that Rob has drawn. And really, I can't take anything Phillips says seriously looking like this:

He addresses the issue with Steve himself, and it all quickly explodes, I mean EXPLODES. Steve holds to his guns that they'll discuss it with Ralph, but Phillip barks at him saying they are one tribe now and if he wants to put the rice in their container, he can. He tells Steve he better plan on keeping the container with him at all times because he's going to take it as soon as he has a chance. Steve drops the crazy word at Phillip and this sends him over the edge. He starts a rant that ends with him dropping the race card which shocks everyone. Grant's face is priceless.

On-drea tries to quickly squelch it from going further down that road but Phillip brushes her off.

Phillip claims that he can't ever make a point to any of the former Zapatera without them calling him crazy. (There's a reason for that.) He spirals into the black man being held down and that's why some of them go crazy and how could he ever be a special agent if he was crazy.

It's all nuts. And as if it can't get any more awkward or intense...it does.

And now everyone is scattered because there is no turning back from this. Steve tells Rob that they plan on voting for Phillip in hopes of getting the others to join. Rob talks to the Ohmyteepees and agrees that once all the Zapaterans are gone, the old crazy Phillip that's rearing his head now will be in full force. He marvels at how Phillip turned a conversation about white rice into a race war and sees Phillip as Public Enemy #1. He just now needs to figure out who Public Enemy #2 is.

Time for the Immunity Challenge. It is a puzzle. Whatever. Boring. Lame. First six that get past the first level go onto another puzzle for the final. Challenge begins and Survivors have to spin around to get the base of their puzzle off a pole.

Everyone is moving fast. Ashley bites it.

The Bossiah is the first to finish.

Followed by Firefighter Julie

Oompa Looma Ralph

Defending Immunity Champion On-drea

Gimpy Steve

And rounding out the top six coming in way behind the pack, BC Grant

Everyone else takes a seat on the loser's bench. Survivors start the second round which is another flurry, but it really becomes a race between The Bossiah, Gimpy Steve and On-drea. But it's The Bossiah, the puzzle king, who comes out on top winning his first Individual Immunity.

Post challenge, the old Zapatera have their last meal as a threesome.

Pretty much everyone is tired of Phillip at camp.

Even Firefighter Julie is ready to throw karma to the wind and takes actions in her own hands. In an uncharacteristically aggressive move, she marches over to the laundry, takes down Phillip's swim trunks, and buries them. Yes. She buries them.

Impressive. This of course starts a shit storm. Phillip starts interrogating everyone in a way that only an experienced FBI former agent can. He comes up short on finding the culprit no matter how threatening he is. And bless him, he does try.

His antics pretty much have two kinds of reaction.

The "wow this is entertaining"

and the "Dear God I'm in hell."

Tribal Council is a whooper. Assuming Phillip had another preminition from his dress (or lack thereof), Jeff walks on a landmine. Phillip explains that his clothes were stolen and that he knows it was Steve. Jeff asks if knows this from his FBI training; of course the answer is yes. Steve rebuttals and recounts the scenario of the rice war that ended with Phillip dropping the "n" word. This gets Jeff's attention real quick. He asks Phillip why he said this. Phillip takes off on something about Richard Pryor equatting the n word with crazy. So since Steve calls him crazy all the time that is obviously what he means.

Jeff tries to get him to see how crazy it is to make that leap but Phillip interupts his interuption. He goes into a whole disortation about asking Jeff if he knows what if feels like to be a woman and how women just know when a man is making derogatory comments so in that same vein he knows that Steve is being racist when he says crazy.

Good night.

Jeff tries to flip the logic on him by saying he doesn't know what Steve means by crazy because he isn't in his shoes. Phillip starts in on a story about he and his dad and how a man made his dad feel weak and small and Steve interupts and says he's played the NFL for 11 years and doesn't have a racial bone in his body and God love Jeff Probst who somehow is able to make everyone feel like they are being heard. "Crazy" pushes Phillip's buttons and Steve didn't mean what Phillip thought he meant. Hey Jeff, there's an opening in daytime if you want to hang up this gig.